Then and Now: 1

Then, I looked at Chicago and thought “I can never go back.”

A year later, I went back to Chicago. I was jumpy and queasy the whole time and thought “I need to leave, any longer and he’ll find me.”

A few years later, I toured my university for graduate school. I felt sick and couldn’t stop thinking of my bed and thought “I have to go home. It’s too big. It’s too loud. But he’ll still find me.”

Yesterday, I explored Chicago with a new friend and I felt light. The fist of dread clenched around my stomach had let go, and we laughed about “shitty exes.” I didn’t tell her everything, but I thought “Look at this. You thought you could never come back, but now you go to school here and you’re laughing and joking about the past.”

Now, when I think of Chicago I don’t see what I used to. I think of my friends, my education, my hard work, my passion, my future–and I’m so proud of myself for coming this far ❤